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I Hate Banks!

By: Daniel - Poker Journal      21 Dec 2005

I hate the bank, haaaaaate the bank. Seriously, I wish we could all go back to a simpler time when money actually was used as currency. These days, there are so many places that won't even take money if you TRY to give it to them!

I remember jumping on a flight a while back and noticing that there was no one in first class. I wanted to upgrade and told the lady at the check-in that I'd pay cash to upgrade. "Sorry sir, we don't except cash."

I left thinking, "No wonder y'all are going out of business, a guy is trying to throw you free money and you don't want it!

Well today I planned on making a wire transfer into my KidPoker account at Late the night before I had the Bellagio issue me a check figuring it would make things easier for all. Bad idea.

I made it to Wells Fargo at about 4:00pm and finally made it to the front of the line with my Bellagio check as well as a few others. I explained that I wanted to deposit the checks and then send a wire with that money.

Then their like, "Um sir, it looks like we'd have to put a hold on the check."

"Huh? Why? What do you mean? Can I not send out the wire transfer?"

"Well sir, you could, but only after the check cleared."

"And when would that be exactly?"

"Umm, it looks like January 6th."

"January 6th! What the??? Are you serious? I hate banks. Not your fault, but I hate banks, haaaaaate banks."

She looked back at me with a smile and said, "I'm sorry sir but that is a government policy."

"Hate them too! Hate em' all! Of course that's not your fault, I understand, but you hate banks too don't you? C'mon admit it. You hate working here don't you?" I inquired.

"Oh I don't mind it sir. I like business," she replied.

"Maybe if you owned a bank that'd be good huh? Then you could get your transactions done fast! Cause you'd be the boss and all right?"

"Oh, I don't know sir, maybe."

"Sure, sure, what's say we open up a bank together huh? You know how to do all that bankin' stuff and me, I'll just be the other guy!"

This went on for a little while when I finally said, "Did I mention that I hate banks, I reeeeeeally hate banks, no kidding. Not your fault, but I really hate em'."

Clearly I was starting to become goofy at this point, but I was having a ball so why not right? I was at the bank!

Finally the lady deposits my other checks, but gives me back the big Bellagio check and informs me that if I head over to Bank of America and get a cashier's check then they wouldn't put a hold on it.

So I take the check and get to the Bank of America at 4:53pm, 7 minutes before closing. When I got there, there was a girl in her 20's carrying a box of money.

I wasn't staring or anything, but I noticed that in the box, were mostly one dollar bills. "Hmmm.... I wonder what she does for a living?" Nothing came to my mind at all. Who knows what that could mean. Young, attractive girl, in Las Vegas, with a box full of $1 bills?

Well, I finally figured that she must work in a video game arcade and was just in there making a deposit. Had to be...

So I get up to the teller and explain what I need. A cashier's check for the full amount. She stares at the check blankly as if she'd never seen one before. "Hmmm... I don't think we can do one for that amount, hold on I'll get my supervisor."

Supervisor now comes over and explains that she can't issue a cashier's check without clearing it first. So what did I tell her? "I hate banks, I reeeeally, reeeeally hate banks. Not your fault of course, but I really do hate the bank. Evil, evil, place this bank."

She then explains to me that she'd have to call the Bellagio. Cool, I know the number so I helped her out. She tries calling and gets no answer, "Sorry sir, but I couldn't get a hold of anyone there so what we can do is make a photocopy of the check and then try again tomorrow."

"If that's the case you might as well just rip it up. Tomorrow isn't going to work because I have to catch an early flight to L.A." (I was playing the emergency card J

She tries again and this time she gets through. The lady who was working with me ran out of checks, though, so I had to wait for another teller. I figured I'd start a lovely conversation with her as well, "You know, I really hate banks. Always have you know?"

By about 5:45pm I was done with the Bank of America and headed back to an in-store Wells Fargo to deposit the check and send the wire. I wait in a long, long, line in the supermarket and finally get to the front.

Again the lady looks at the check, looks back at me, and then just starts shaking her head like, "No, no no."

I'm thinking to myself, what no? What did I do wrong now? I got the fingerprint on the check like I'm supposed to, they took my urine sample, drew a 1/4 pint of blood... what else do they want?"

She tells me she'd have to call the Bank of America to verify the check. Of course, it was past 5:00pm so there were no guarantees anyone would answer.


I had a nice conversation with the lady next to me who had the same feelings I did. "Amen," she said, as I ranted like a wild man, "Amen to that."

Within a few minutes I had quite a following. Everyone in line was nodding in agreement as I preached the good word! Can I hear a “We hate the bank!”

So the lady couldn't get a hold of the Bank of America, so I asked if I could just deposit the check and then do the wire at 9:00am tomorrow. "But we are not open till 10:00am sir."

"My flight leaves at 10:55am, I'd never make it. Doesn't the branch next door open at 9:00am?"

Yes sir, but if you deposit the check here then they wouldn't have access to it over there."

BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH! Man, I really do hate banks. The only thing I hate more than the bank is having to wake up in then morning J

I went home dejected from the process and jumped online to play some poker. I had $5000 in my account and decided to start a 30 man sit n' go for the forum regulars.

Not only do I hate the banks, I hate jayboogie23! When I play in these tournaments I put a bounty on my head, usually a hat or a t-shirt. This guy has already won like a full wardrobe off of me!

I'm kidding of course, I don’t really hate him. He's actually a pretty good player from what I've seen.

After jayboogie23 busted me I sat down in a heads up limit hold'em table and played $100-$200 with tongmaster. I ran pretty good against him and was lucky enough to win $7500 before he had to go. Seemed like a nice guy and apparently I know who he is but he wouldn't tell me just yet.

So then I jumped over to play reztez, another online pro who was sitting at a table of the same limit, $100-$200.

I played him for a short while and again, ran well flopping lots of hands and winning about $1500 more.

I was practicing more than anything else. I really haven't logged a ton of hours in limit hold'em recently and I just wanted to get into a good rhythm. Playing a lot, and studying hand histories is one way that I like to sharpen my game.

After a brief couple of sessions today I feel like I'm playing as good as I ever did. I'm really happy with how quickly I've been able to grasp the flow of heads up online limit hold'em. It's not like the game is foreign to me, but you have to log hours to stay sharp.

In the morning, I have to fly to L.A. for the day. Before I do that, I have to head to the bank to send a wire transfer so I can play higher online. Did I mention how much I hate banks? Never mind.

I'll be back later that night, and then hope to be sitting at table KidPoker $500-$1000 waiting for some action. I'll post in the General Forum at exactly when I get some action.

Last modified onTuesday, 28 May 2013 07:22

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